What are you looking for?

I hope you're having a good break in this "in-between" time wedged in amongst Yuletide and New Year. We went for a lovely drive yesterday to The Dandenong Ranges, just outside of Melbourne. We had a nice old-style, sit-down lunch in Sassafras and then walked it off on a bush walk just behind the village. Driving on to Olinda, we walked part of the way around the beautiful four kilometres of The National Rhododendron Gardens. We'll go back there in Spring - it would be amazing to see them all in flower.

A white Protea - I had never seen one before, thinking they only flowered in pink

A gecko who patiently waited while I took his photo

A mighty gum tree

Wild forget-me-nots

The canopy of green

We're expecting 36 degrees tomorrow and 38 degrees Monday, so it was nice to get out into the bush before really hot weather hits.

At a new-agey shop in Sassafras, The Oracle, I picked up the following 'fortune' from a bowl at the front door -

You will find what you are looking for, but stop looking on the outside for what can only be found on the inside.

This is surprisingly apt for me at the moment, and it's a thought I'll carry into the new year. What about you? What are your new year thoughts or resolutions?

Wishing you a new year of happy days and all that your heart desires.

~ Feronia x

I am I am I am

This lovely image of Sylvia Plath can be found at http://www.counter-currents.com/2010/11/sylvia-plath-stasis-in-darkness/

What do you think about inspirational quotes and sayings? I know that my husband approaches them with some derision but I often find (mostly) literary quotes that say such a lot to me that I am compelled to type them up and blue-tack to the wall above my desk. I don't mean inspirational quotes of the 'SUCCESS'-emblazoned-on-a-photo-of-the-sunset variety (but they're fine too, if they talk to you) but more a couple of words or lines that help me to understand something about myself.

It is sometimes seen as something of a cliche to be a fan of Sylvia Plath, the angsty woman par excellence, but I have to say that I have been in love with her words and ideas since the poem "The Applicant" was on our reading list for Year 12 English Lit (some mumble-mumble years ago). I know of course that she was also a very flawed individual (but who isn't?) and certainly her fate is not one that I covet. But the words...the words. Yesterday I was reminded of a few lines from The Bell Jar which went - kaboom - straight to where I am right now:

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am."

Just now I discovered that I am not the only one with a deep love for Sylvia's mots juste and I also found that some people go way beyond sticking a piece of paper over their desk. I am not one for tattoos but these are amazing and touching examples of how words can go straight to the soul -

Words from the poem "Tulips"

These images can be found at the following link http://www.contrariwise.org/tag/sylvia-plath/

Right here, right now

Two of my favourite blogs, Soulemama (http://www.soulemama.com) and Another Beautiful Day (http://milk-and-berries.blogspot.com) have both recently listed what they are doing right now, what is occupying and fulfilling them in this present moment. I am trying to learn to live much more in the present moment, and so I give you what's up in the Yellow Wood right now -

Playing:: With beads, yarn and thread. Lots of stuff in the craft basket at the moment but nothing actually getting finished because I am flitting from one project to the next like a drunken bee.

Listening:: To atmospheric to the point of spooky music from Wardruna and delightfully silly and cheerful 80s pop by turn, depending on my mood.

Looking:: At the first delicious little flickers of spring in the garden. The lemons, although traditionally winter bloomers, are leading the charge.

Learning:: About making jewellery. I am considering taking a TAFE course in it. I want to get soldering - oh yeah!

Helping:: Or at least trying to help my poor hard-working and sleep-deprived husband and my dear mum who has just had her cataracts operated on.

Reading:: Spoilt for choice as I mentioned the other day. Lucky Jim is the next one off the shelf.

So what about you?

It's all a matter of perspective

I received a wonderful package from Beanie Mouse and Andrea last week. While travelling around together, Beanie and Andrea collect all sorts of bits and pieces - things that other people might discard - and then Beanie looks at them anew and turns them into really interesting and striking works of art - 'found art'. Check them out at - http://beaniemouse.blogspot.com/ and http://found-art.blogspot.com/ And thank you Beanie and Andrea!

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Helena's post over at http://sketchandcolour.blogspot.com/ has got me thinking. Do I look old? But more to the point, do I feel old? Having recently had a birthday, it is something that has been on my mind a bit. Especially when I see more and more grey hair every time I look in the mirror! In my mind, I still think of myself as being in my 20s - at the most. Especially since I feel I am still 'finding my way' with a lot of things in life. I always thought of people at the age I am now (ahem...note: actual age not disclosed) as being adults, people who have their lives together. But lately it has also occurred to me that life really is a process. You keep learning stuff. Re-adjusting your priorities. Looking at things differently. There is no one age where you stop and say 'Well, I'm done. I'm all sorted. I am complete.' For me at least I think that that process will go on and on until I am a little old lady still with some new enthusiasm or idea about something. And that, I suspect, is how you might be able to side-step 'growing old'. My mother has often said, 'You're only old if you feel old.' And I think she might be right. Providing I keep looking at life as freshly as I can muster, I might just stay young forever!

Alone again, naturally

As I've got older I've realised increasingly how much I need alone time. It's not that I don't like people or that I don't ever need company but I need - really need - to have some time each day to myself. To be alone with my thoughts or even to just be alone, not thinking.

I have always been an extremely shy person - although I am getting better with that - so I think some of my need for aloneness stems from that. Added to the shyness, I am an only child so my earliest memories are of making my own fun rather than relying on the input of others. Whatever the cause may be, now I find that even an hour or two of quiet solitude is just the ticket for calming any feelings of anxiety or angst I might be experiencing or for just getting myself back into my own rhythm, rather than jogging haphazardly along to the rhythm of others.

Apparently one can be diagnosed now as a 'highly sensitive person' and I think I am perhaps leaning in that direction - dislike of crowds, aversion to loud noises and bright lights, need for peace and solitude. I also know it's important though to balance that need with regular interaction with the rest of the world lest one goes a little hermity and weird. I do think it's good to be able to recognise and respond to one's feelings, though.

Are you a 'loner' like me or do you love to be surrounded by people 24/7?